And Then I Moved On

In hindsight, telling this part of the story always makes me laugh. But here's the part where I tried to move on, and actually did a pretty good job.

I accepted the whole "He's not into me" thing and put my eggs in other baskets. Well, one basket, and that basket was Zach. (Of course, you remember Zach from the first post.)

Zach and I chatted, texted, talked, emailed and everything in between. We were constantly connected in some way or another. We were as close knit as two kids could be, even with a four hour drive between us. We confided in each other (still do) and got along really well, always.

Being a girl, the obvious next step was to force Zach into being my boyfriend. I tried and I tried, but the distance seemed to keep getting in the way.

Meanwhile, I was still flirting with Alex. We still hung out every single day. Nothing changed after we had our last awkward conversation. Literally. Nothing. He was still being clingy but distant, flirty but cool, needy but somehow still holding all the cards. But at that point I didn't care because I had Zach, who I thought was totally in love with me.

I fancied myself a player, fantasizing about creating a love triangle and putting them at odds with each other to see who would fight the hardest for me. I didn't think I liked Alex anymore, and I definitely didn't want to waste my time on someone who didn't like me. But Alex seemed to be more dangerous, and Zach seemed to be more safe.

Then one hot summer day I went to visit Alex at his apartment. While Alex and I were hanging out, Zach called me. At that point I more than readily ditched Alex, went outside and sat under a tree so I could have some quality chat time with my long-distance-pseudo boyfriend.

I can't remember all the details of our conversation, but I remember Zach finally conceding to giving a relationship a chance. Even with the distance, he said he was willing to give it a shot to see if it would turn into anything.

Was I happy? ECSTATIC. This was the best thing that could happen to me. Zach was all the things I wanted: funny, nice, easy to talk to, level headed, hard working, and most of all, not commitment phobic. So what if he wasn't "dangerous"? He was still tall, pale and handsome. And sweet.

So after we wrapped up that phone call, I pranced back into Alex's apartment. I told Alex everything, and he seemed genuinely happy for me.

But it turns out men really do want what they can't have.